Let's talk about M. Night Shyamalan.

Are you kidding me? M. Night Shyamalan's films are amazing.
No, they're not. There is absolutely nothing special about this man's movies. In, fact, his movies suck.
Let's start with Signs. I'm absolutely not the first to point this out*, but I absolutely have to. Shyamalan's Signs is about a farming family who inexplicably finds crop circles appearing in their fields. The crop circles start appearing in other places, and soon, the farming widower with two children (Mel Gibson) finds himself and his family facing a large-scale alien invasion. The aliens land on earth after traveling, without doubt, millions and millions of miles. WHAT FORCE ON EARTH COULD STOP THEM?
Turns out, a wooden door can. Mel Gibson and his family barricade themselves behind a wooden door in their basement. Mastery of space travel and unrivaled technology is nothing compared to an olden wooden door in a farmhouse.
But they can't keep themselves in the basement forever, and when they finally manage to emerge into the main floor of their house, they are confronted by aliens, and must find a way to defend themselves. But fate takes the wheel. A glass of water left on the counter by Gibson's ass-hat daughter falls to the floor under the alien's feet, and the alien begins screaming and starts to dissolve. Soon enough, everybody starts spilling water all over the aliens, and the invasion is over. Fantastic plot twist, or did M. Night Shyamalan run out of ideas?
Now, let's discuss The Village. There isn't actually much to discuss here, as throughout most of the movie a normal human being isn't actually sure what's going on. Also, the "monsters" that stalk the wilderness are never shown. Guess why...they don't actually exist. The inhabitants of the village mentioned are actually in a sanctuary of sorts, and in the end, the protagonist almost ends up getting hit by a car.
Fantastic filmmaking, Mr. Shyamalan.

*www.thebestpageintheuniverse.com

Let's talk about Coheed and Cambria.

Anyone who has known me for more than a day knows that my favorite band ever, period, was Coheed and Cambria. Until yesterday. Yesterday, I was browsing the World Wide Web, as I so often do, when I remembered that I hadn't done my daily check-up on how my favorite band was doing. I quickly typed my way to Coheed's myspace page, and their Snazzalicious "Neverender" Wallpaper loaded up. So far, everything was fine. I scrolled down to the section of their page about recent news/tour dates, and couldn't help but notice something. Coheed's profile picture had the word "SLIPKNOT" at the top of it, and the cover of Slipknot's new album: "Poorly Written Lyrics, Awful Vocals, and Mediocre Instrumentation: Volume 6". I blinked and looked again. Underneath was the text: with special guests: Coheed and Cambria, Trivium, and another lame band. My heartbeat slowed. I couldn't see, and I'm pretty sure I was unconscious for like 20 seconds. I returned to my computer, and attempted to write a blog post about the situation, but was too damn angry. So I went to bed, hoping this whole thing was a nightmare.
Turns out, it wasn't a nightmare.
Coheed and Cambria are touring with Slipknot.
For those of you who know me extra well, you know I now am required to find a new favorite band.
This is going to be extremely difficult.
As for all my Coheed music, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it. I will probably have to compeletely separate myself from Coheed society and current events, and ignore everything they do. How will I purchase their new album without paying attention to it? I'm not entirely sure.
So much confusion. So much to do.
I've been looking for a new favorite band, and I'm begging anyone who thinks they can help to try. I'm going to ignore your suggestions and put you down if you recommend bad music to me.

It's safe to say you dig the backseat.

I would be writing, but I'm too pissed off. Sorry.

And you know what?

Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Fortress/Escape

Well, guess who lost something very special to...himself.
Me did.
That was terrible grammar.
Whatever.
Anyway, I recently forgot two very, VERY, special things to me. An autographed copy of Escape, by Therefore I Am, and a copy of Fortress by Protest the Hero. Which is just amazing for me, since, as anyone who knows me knows, I love losing cherished albums more than I love anything else in the world.
JUST KIDDING. I THINK IT SUCKS.
Let's explore this terrible happening.
A couple weeks ago I attended a gathering at my friend Kevin's house. I played Guitar Hero and GTA 4 until about....damn... two o'clock. This is quite an achievement for me.
ANYWAY, I had brought Fortress and Escape to burn to my friend Kevin's XBox 360. So, I leave the next day, and forget Fortress and Escape at my friend Kevin's house. I call to check in on Escape and Fortress, and Kevin doesn't answer, probably because he's in class, I don't blame him. But, he didn't call me back. I was pissed. But this wasn't even his fault. I tell Mom, "We really, really, need to stop by Kevin's house and pick up those GODDAMN CD's! But my mom's too busy cooking/cleaning, and we still haven't gotten them. And I'm f'ing pissed. Damn.

Bye Bye, Beautiful.

Don't bother to write.

Um...

My blog post time is pretty way off. Just keep that in mind from now on.